The Evil Done in Pursuit of the GoodPart III

The Evil Done in Pursuit of the Good
Part III

The kinds of figures and knowledge exhibited in Parts I and II of this post must be at the foundation of all of our conversations about criminal alien invaders:

They are, by their initial actions, criminals.  Beyond all other characteristics they may possess, this is fundamental.

Were an employment candidate to reveal, during the interview, that he or she was a wanted, yet unindicted criminal, the interview would be over.  Were your plumber or interior designer to come to your home and, before crossing your threshold, reveal that the police were hunting for him or her for crimes she admitted to committing, the door would close and you would throw the bolt on the lock so fast, the metal would get hot

Yet, these criminal alien invaders cross the line between oppressed Mexican (or Dominican or Venezuelan...) and criminal alien and want us to overlook their criminal behavior.

Everything after that act is a continuing series of criminal behavior.  Living here is criminal.  Working here is criminal.  Having children here is criminal.  While you and I may (excluding traffic laws) go for years or decades without even once edging toward criminal behavior, these criminal alien invaders break several federal laws every day.  The list of crimes, including fraud, theft, and participating in an ongoing criminal enterprise, extends every day they awake within the borders of this country.

Prosecuted for each crime, these criminal alien invaders would spend the rest of their lives behind bars after the first week after their initial crime.

However, they know they will not be prosecuted.  They will be protected.  Farmers, mothers, homeowners, meat processors, and homebuilders protect them.  Politicians protect them.  Our government protects them.

The excuses range from silly to serious.

ØThey are working in jobs citizens won't do

ØThey pay their way

ØWe are stingy

ØMexico could collapse without the pressure release of criminal alien invasion

ØThe United States stole the land from Mexico anyway

ØThere exists absolutely no data to support any single claim.

Anecdote is not evidence.  There are sufficient anecdotes to contradict every one of these excuses.  We know the following.

ØThe criminal alien invasion costs border states billions of dollars every year

ØThe criminal alien invader is never checked for disease or contagion

ØThe criminal alien invader is willing to break laws to gain benefits for which he is not entitled

ØThe criminal alien invader is of low skill

ØThe criminal alien invader is of low education

ØThe criminal alien invader is of low class

ØIf any of the previous three statements are wrong, the criminal alien invader may be a terrorist

ØThe criminal alien invader is just as likely to be a terrorist, anyway

The beekeeper who willingly allows killer bees into his hives knows that every hive will eventually be infected with Africanized Killer Bees.  The level of aggressiveness increases and the level of production drops.  If unchecked, the enterprise is eventually destroyed.

Some bee keepers allow the killer bees to remain, at least for a time, before they act.  They need the honey, they say.

Some beekeepers prefer to terminate the entire colony as soon as the killer bees appear.  The loss of production and the increased risk of harm or injury are just too great.

We have no less a challenge.  The criminal alien invader is like the killer bee.  What we have to ask ourselves is, "Do we need the honey that badly?"

Well, do we?  Punk?

Some think so.  But those are the population of spineless ninnies we send to the state houses and Capitol in D.C.  For them, I have the following suggestion.

The Dexter Cogni 2007 Criminal Alien Invader Social Integration Process

There are currently an estimated 20 million criminal alien invaders inside the borders of the United States.  The president and congress want to grant them easy access to citizenship.

We, they say, got citizenship free.  All we had to do was have our grandfathers and fathers and brothers die on the battlefields of Concord, Gettysburg, Prussia, Germany, Italy, Libya, France, Japan, the Philippines, Afghanistan and iraq so we could get this good stuff for free.

Why not make it just as easy for them?

Each and every liberal who wants to see a criminal alien invader assimilated into the United States can sponsor one (1) criminal alien invader.  These brief rules outline the Criminal Alien Invader (CAI) Assimilation Candidate Process.

The criminal alien invader must:

ØDwell solely at the residence of the CAI sponsor for the first two years of the candidacy

ØRenounce all allegiance and fealty to all other nations and leaders except the United States and the President and Congress.

ØMust learn English

ØMust show education levels equal to, or pass a state-proctored GED

ØMust release the United States government and all state and municipal governments of any claim against prior payment toward any government entitlement or support programs

ØMust prove they are free of any and all contagious diseases, including, but not limited to: AIDS, malaria, tuberculosis, parasites, cancer, heart or vascular disease, mental disorder,  chronic infection or any other chronic disease.

The CAI sponsor must agree to the following:

ØProvide and pay for any and all health care required by the CAI candidate while in residence

ØProvide and pay for all education or special support required by the CAI candidate in order to qualify under CAI requirements

ØDocument the whereabouts, daily, of the CAI candidate.

ØPost a personal bond against any liability involved in the CAI candidate employment while the CAI is an assimilation candidate.

ØProvide CAI assimilation monitors full access to the home where the CAI assimilation candidate is housed.

ØCAI assimilation sponsor is prohibited from requesting or accepting any remuneration, payment, labor, or other reward for acting as a CAI assimilation candidate sponsor.

ØIf, after two years of spotless record, the CAI assimilation candidate can demonstrate the following, they will be considered for service in any of the United States military service branches.

The CAI assimilation candidate must demonstrate the following:

ØHigh-school senior fluency in English, both spoken and written

ØSpotless criminal record

ØClean bill of health

ØComplete employment record for two years, with no periods of unemployment over two weeks and no cumulative total of unemployment of more than four weeks.

ØSatisfactory completion of exams on the Constitution of the United States, the Bill of Rights, English literature, high-school algebra, and American history (beyond the GED)

ØHigh School education equivalency

At this point, if the candidate is of age to serve in the United States military, they can be assigned to the Army, Navy, Coast Guard, or Air Force, for an enlistment minimum of six years.  If they are of too many years, they can train to serve as logistical or non-combatant support services overseas to the United State military branches.  Serving as civilians, yet in overseas or higher-risk posts than those served by United State civilians, they will also serve a minimum service of six years at pay rates equal to that of enlisted military and be housed and boarded by the US military.

At the end of six years of honorable duty or service with the United State military, the CAI candidate may apply to become a United States Citizen.  They can make application to have one (1) family member join them as an associate CAI candidate.  (requirements to come later)

This is my amnesty.  If after performing these actions, under the supervision of their sponsor and then the United States military, and completing all duties and objectives completely and honorably, they will not be prosecuted for committing their initial crimes of entering the country illegally and defrauding the government and their employers.

The CAI assimilation candidate becomes, then, an un-monitored citizenship parolee.  So long as the parolee is not convicted of any felony within two years, they are then granted full citizenship.

And what shall be done with the rest?  Outlaws!  Bounty!

Pretty nice carrot.  Pretty big stick.

~~ Dexter

PS: It has been proposed that the CAI assimilation candidate military could be used to invade Mexico and plant the seeds for the first democracy south of the Rio Grand.

The Evil Done in Pursuit of the GoodPart II

The Evil Done in Pursuit of the Good
Part II

Recently, WorldNetDaily (http://www.wnd.com) reported that Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) officials arrested more than 9,000 criminal alien invaders during a three-year operation to net sex offenders. [**]  This statistic is both shocking and clarifying.  Americans who value their liberties and their safefy must take the time to investigate this underlying problem in the debate over the criminal alien invader.

Before evaluating the details of criminal behavior, let's analyze the population of the criminal alien invader.

Universally[1], they are criminals.  The very act of violating national sovereignty by crossing the border without benefit of international agreements and documentation is a crime.

Under Title 8 Section 1325 of the U.S. Code, "Improper Entry by Alien," any citizen of any country other than the United States who:

ØEnters or attempts to enter the United States at any time or place other than as designated by immigration officers; or

ØEludes examination or inspection by immigration officers; or

ØAttempts to enter or obtains entry to the United States by a willfully false or misleading representation or the willful concealment of a material fact;

has committed a federal crime.

Violations are punishable by criminal fines and imprisonment for up to six months. Repeat offenses can bring up to two years in prison. Additional civil fines may be imposed at the discretion of immigration judges, but civil fines do not negate the criminal sanctions or nature of the offense.

These criminal alien invaders are, firstly, criminals.  There were not born on this side of the border.  Therefore, they lack status as a citizen.  They are aliens.  Finally, just because they do not bring firearms or artillery with them as they come doesn't mean they are any less an invading force than any destroying, conquering army.  The most vocal of these groups are The Brown Berets of Aztlan and MEChA.  Both want to "re-conquer" the western half of the United States and place it under the mythical banner of Aztlan.[3]

From these origins:  criminal; foreign and alien; and supported by the rhetoric of a violent army, these criminal alien invaders are not benevolent.  They are not benevolent by their group identity.  They are not benevolent individually.

Mexico has an estimated population of around 105 million.[4]   The current estimates of the numbers of Mexicans illegally in the United States ranges from 11 to 20 million.[5]  This simple calculation results in a staggering 19 percent of Mexico is currently stationed in the United States as an occupying force.

The stereotypical Mexican Bandito has icons in myth and truth that range from the real-life Pancho Villa to the comic Frito Bandito.  The truth is that the most corrupt criminals in Mexico are in the highest government offices in Mexico.  (It is important to complete that clause, "in Mexico" in the preceding sentence, lest someone mistake the object of the sentence as Washington, D.C.) 

The fact that at least one news site devotes an RSS feed solely to Mexico's corruption is an admission by the Fourth Estate that there are problems South of the Border.[6]  That the 19 percent of Mexico's population who would violate U.S. border laws would also be criminals by culture is no rude awakening.

After arriving in the United States, the criminal alien invader thinks nothing of procuring forged citizenship documents (another felony), and committing continuing fraud on both his employer and on the federal government.

As between 8 and 20 million criminal alien invaders stream across the United State's southern (and northern) borders, their crimes escalate.  Assuming these 8,000 or so criminal alien invader sex offenders are actually brought before a sentencing hearing at the end of a trial and are incarcerated in one of our plush prisons (compared to Mexico), they will join the 326,704 criminal alien invaders who are currently incarcerated in the United States. [7]  The cost for incarceration will be phenomenal.  Those already incarcerated have been a  $1,372,947,333 drain on our nation. [8]  Taxes from United States citizens paid this price. 

Unfortunately, when both our resources for apprehending and detaining criminal alien invader when they commit the harsher crimes, and our fundamental resolve to do so, are so thin we can read the newspaper though them, no one will do the middle police work.  As crimes escalate, Heather Mac Donald reported that big-city policemen enter a "bidding war" to convince a police chief to detain and prosecute the criminal.[9]  The eventual result is a "catch and release" that irritates United States citizens more and more.

Putting all the criminal alien invaders in jail is not the answer.  Frankly, I just don't want to pay for it.  The only real answer is a secure border through which "la cucaracha" couldn't squeeze. 

Locks are for honest people.  But how many times does the bank robber come around when the vault is locked?  The most important obligation of our representatives in Washington, D.C. is the security of our bank vault.  The most important obligation of our representatives in Washington, D.C. is a border security implementation that keeps the criminal alien invader out of our back yards, out of our businesses, and out of our criminal justice system.  The resources of the United States, as they are, are insufficient for the overwhelming numbers of invaders.

The criminal justice system in the United States was once the crown jewel of integrity and impartial adjudication.  Today, it is a poorly-running antique with too many miles and a too-heavy load.  In the hey-day of the United States, it was anathema to consider taking the law out of the control of the appointed system of judges and officers of the court.  Today, the only way justice will be delivered is by vigilante.  Then, what shall be done to the vigilante?  It is a circle of violence and crime that we should not have to endure.

But something must be done to stem the flow of alien toxins and poisons from Mexico and south of the border.  First Aid demands a tourniquet be applied to the border.  Everyone must squeeze tightly and keep the bandage on until the flow stops.

Country-Club Republicraps cry real tears at this.  "We might lose a limb," they warn, "if the flow is not allowed, at least from time to time."

"And if thy right hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast [it] from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell."[10]

[1] For the rare liberal reader [2], that means "everybody in the group."

[2] Most liberals can read, but you can see their lips move when they come to a hard word.

[3] http://www.mayorno.com/WhoIsMecha.html

[4] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Demographics_of_Mexico

[5] http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=5365863

[6] http://www.einnews.com/mexico/newsfeed-mexico-corruption

[7] http://www.immigrationcounters.com/

[8] ibid.

[9] http://www.city-journal.org/html/14_1_the_illegal_alien.html

[10] Matthew 5:20 King James Version

[**] Sex-offender stings get thousands of illegals, Chelsea Shilling, WorldNetDaily, January 9, 2007, http://www.worldnetdaily.com/news/printer-friendly.asp?ARTICLE_ID=53683

 

   ~~ Dexter

Coming: Part III

The Evil Done in Pursuit of the GoodPart I

The Evil Done in Pursuit of the Good
Part I

The source of nearly every problem extant in the federal government is federal benevolence in the form of wealth redistribution.  The thorny problem of criminal alien invaders would be far less emotional were the federal government more responsible to the Constitution and their constituents than their current "spend like a drunken sailor" ways.

Were the federal stingy with my tax dollars, and not just in the case of the criminal alien invader, there would be little reason for most of the forms of persistent oppression our biased media lament.

Criminal alien invaders would have little success north of the Rio Grande if they were not guaranteed welfare, aid for dependent children, food stamps, housing subsidies, free healthcare, and, for many states, free in-state tuition and a free high-school education.  Regardless of the propositions passed by the people, even the state governments will find a way to continue and increase the pathways of redistribution.

These same redistribution channels are the vector for lifelong poverty, the enabler for illegitimate births (many by children themselves), the genesis of fatherless homes and the origin of the gang-land culture and its concomitant drug-businesses.  They act as an inhibitor to personal effort and result in an under-performing underclass of ignorant, illegitimate, criminal herds who perpetuate the sins of the fathers on their sons.

The whole time, good Christian people allow and encourage government largesse on the underprivileged as a way to salve their own consciences.  They knowingly disregarding nearly 70 years' of evidence that the affect of government handout is universally contrary to its goal.  And socialists and communists, who have no desire but to assure that all wealth is held in the government's accounts, enflame the guilt of the Anglo-Saxon Christian culture as a way to hasten government's eventual monopoly on wealth via taxes.

The criminal alien invader is only one visible symptom of the metastasized cancer in our society -- our own government and its willing accomplices in the leftist media.  The bursting prison populations are another.  Our unwillingness to win a war against an evil who wants to behead our children before our eyes is further evidence of a possibly terminal national disease.  The violent criminal drug gangs selling drugs on street corners from Portland, Maine to Portland, Washington is further evidence that we may have already lost the battle for our national soul.

And the fireman savagely stoking the firebox of the government steam-engine is my elected representative.  The coal in his shovel is my own labor, stolen by threat of bayonette or prison.  These same elected representatives, living on our money, going to parties, taking extended junkets, wearing suits we cannot afford, receiving gifts from people, and falling for the lies their handlers tell them, chastise us for our resistance to additional taxation and redistribution.  We, they say, are selfish.

I am selfish.  I want my home back.  The government says it belongs to them unless I pay annual duty to the city.  I want my own labor back.  They say they will throw me in prison if I don't work half the year for them.  I want my family back.  They tell me what my children must learn and how they must answer questions, even regarding our religious beliefs.  I want my life back.  They tell me I must move over to give an undeserving, unproductive, uneducated, and ill-prepared candidate my place in a) school, b) work, c) health care, d) or public office because of so-called racial disparity.

We have already lost so much to a gluttonous government that we might be fooled into believing that we don't have much more to lose.  We do.

I wonder, though, where we are on our barrel-trip down the Niagara.  At some point along the way, there's a long fall and no way to go back.  And we will be condemned to fall completely and churn, for an uncountable time, in the foam at the bottom of the falls.

   ~~ Dexter

Coming: Part II

 

I Have a Dream

Following the Invasion of Iraq in Desert Storm II and the subsequent utter defeat of the Iraqi standing army in a matter of weeks, the will of the American People faded as the cowardly crying ninnies in Congress cringed at the mainstream media's bleeding-heart reports of each American soldier's death.

After more than four years' tentative efforts to pretend to fight against Islamo-facists in Iraq, the President raised the alarm and proposed to increase the efforts against terrorists in Iraq; supported and trained in enemy-combatant nations like Syria and Iran.

The day after the President's speech, a lone statesmen rose (in my intangible hopes and desires) to address Congress.  The following is what should be transpiring at the very moment.  The following cannot happen, but should.

A lone gentleman walks to the podium in the House Chamber and speaks, without notes, to the gathered body.

---

No man thinks more highly than I do of the patriotism, as well as abilities, of the very worthy gentlemen who have just addressed the House. But different men often see the same subject in different lights; and, therefore, I hope that it will not be thought disrespectful to those gentlemen, if, entertaining as I do opinions of a character very opposite to theirs, I shall speak forth my sentiments freely and without reserve.

This is no time for ceremony. The question before the House is one of awful moment to this country. For my own part I consider it as nothing less than a question of freedom or slavery; and in proportion to the magnitude of the subject ought to be the freedom of the debate. It is only in this way that we can hope to arrive at truth, and fulfill the great responsibility which we hold to God and our country. Should I keep back my opinions at such a time, through fear of giving offense, I should consider myself as guilty of treason towards my country, and of an act of disloyalty towards the majesty of heaven, which I revere above all earthly kings.

Mr. President, it is natural to man to indulge in the illusions of hope. We are apt to shut our eyes against a painful truth, and listen to the song of that siren, till she transforms us into beasts. Is this the part of wise men, engaged in a great and arduous struggle for liberty? Are we disposed to be of the number of those who, having eyes, see not, and having ears, hear not, the things which so nearly concern their temporal salvation?

For my part, whatever anguish of spirit it may cost, I am willing to know the whole truth -- to know the worst and to provide for it. I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided; and that is the lamp of experience. I know of no way of judging of the future but by the past. And judging by the past, I wish to know what there has been in the conduct of the Islamic terrorist for the last ten years, to justify those hopes with which gentlemen have been pleased to solace themselves and the House?

Is it that condescending smile with which our efforts have been lately received? Trust it not, sir; it will prove a snare to your feet. Suffer not yourselves to be betrayed with a kiss. Ask yourselves how this gracious reception of our peacekeeping comports with these warlike preparations which cover foreign waters and darken the Middle East. Are fleets and armies necessary to a work of love and reconciliation? Have we shown ourselves so unwilling in discourse that force must be called in to win back our commitment? Let us not deceive ourselves, sir. These are the implements of war and subjugation -- the last arguments to which Islamofacists resort. I ask gentlemen, sir, what means this martial array, if its purpose be not to force us to submission? Can gentlemen assign any other possible motives for it? Has Islam any enemy, in that quarter of the world, to call for all this accumulation of navies and armies?

No, sir, she has none. They are meant for us; they can be meant for no other. They are sent to bind and rivet upon us those chains which the Islamofacists have been so long forging. And what have we to oppose to them? Shall we try argument? Sir, we have been trying that for the last ten years. Have we anything new to offer on the subject? Nothing.

We have held the subject up in every light of which it is capable; but it has been all in vain. Shall we resort to entreaty and humble supplication? What terms shall we find which have not been already exhausted? Let us not, I beseech you, sir, deceive ourselves longer.

Sir, we have done everything that could be done to avert the storm which is now coming on. We have petitioned; we have remonstrated; we have supplicated; we have prostrated ourselves before the Imams, and have implored their interposition to arrest the tyrannical hands of the terror cells.

Our petitions have been slighted; our remonstrances have produced additional violence and insult; our supplications have been disregarded; and we have been spurned, with contempt, from the negotiations table. In vain, after these things, may we indulge the fond hope of peace and reconciliation. There is no longer any room for hope.

If we wish to be free -- if we mean to preserve inviolate those inestimable privileges for which we have been so long contending -- if we mean not basely to abandon the noble struggle in which we have been so long engaged, and which we have pledged ourselves never to abandon until the glorious object of our contest shall be obtained, we must fight! I repeat it, sir, we must fight! An appeal to arms and to the God of Hosts is all that is left us!

They tell us, sir, that we are weak -- unable to cope with so formidable an adversary. But when shall we be stronger? Will it be the next week, or the next year? Will it be when we are totally disarmed, and when an Imam shall be stationed in every house? Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance, by lying supinely on our backs, and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

Sir, we are not weak, if we make a proper use of the means which the God of nature hath placed in our power. Three hundred millions of people, armed in the holy cause of liberty, and in such a country as that which we possess, are invincible by any force which our enemy can send against us. Besides, sir, we shall not fight our battles alone. There is a just God who presides over the destinies of nations, and who will raise up friends to fight our battles for us.

The battle, sir, is not to the strong alone; it is to the vigilant, the active, the brave. Besides, sir, we have no election. If we were base enough to desire it, it is now too late to retire from the contest. There is no retreat but in submission and slavery! Our chains are forged! Their clanking may be heard on the plains of Basra! The war is inevitable -- and let it come! I repeat it, sir, let it come!

It is in vain, sir, to extenuate the matter. Gentlemen may cry, "Peace! Peace!" -- but there is no peace. The war is actually begun! The next gale that sweeps from the east will bring to our ears the clash of resounding arms! Our brethren are already in the field! Why stand we here idle? What is it that gentlemen wish? What would they have? Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery? Forbid it, Almighty God! I know not what course others may take; but as for me, give me liberty, or give me death!

Were Patrick Henry actually allowed to address our congress - January 11, 2006

~~ Dexter

Garbage Disposal

America's greatest embarrassment came in Iraq at the close of last year.  Iraq, a purportedly primitive and undisciplined nation, showed America how to deal with murderers.  In a display of judicial relevance that would cause apoplexy in the United States, Iraq's new government dispensed with all heart-bleeding and hand wringing and dispensed with a murderer in 56 days.

Fifty six days elapsed in Baghdad between the time a mass-murdering thug was sentenced to die and the instant his neck was stretched far enough from his body to make a difference to his soul.

Fifty six days.

Of course, there were detractors.

The UN on Sunday criticized the decision to sentence Saddam Hussein to death, calling upon local authorities to refuse the to hang the ex-leader. [i]

The U.N.  What would civilized people do without the U.N?  What would a prom queen do without that zit in the middle of her forehead on prom night?  Were there no U.N, Preparation H would sell far fewer tubes of ointment.

And then, there is the reasonable comparison, the United States.  By our own admission, we take 71 times as long to walk a convicted murderer from his (or her) jail cell to the gallows.

During 2004, 12 states executed 59 prisoners, six fewer than in 2003. The inmates executed had been under a death sentence for an average of 11 years, which was one month longer than the period for inmates executed in 2003. [ii]

These old numbers, for the last year uncovered through thoughtless Internet search, are sufficiently indicative of the United State's pattern of cruelty.  Previous years' statistics were no less appalling.

There comes a point of decision.  Cindy Sheehan[iii], who seems to have run out of things that will get her in the news, could take the reins on this one.  Rather than accuse President Bush (43) of invading Iraq for oil (again), Sister Sheehan might suggest a useful purpose for our presence there:  Murderer Disposal.

Iraq's judicial system, less than a year old, has already proven far more efficient than the United States'.  In the United States, two hundred years of self-criticism and prestigious law school matriculation has littered our cognitive landscape with highly-paid, highly-educated imbeciles who have devastated our criminal justice system.   America's courts are crippled; some say beyond repair.  Why condemn justice to our courts?  Why not grant justice where justice is still free?  Why not ship our convicted murderers to Baghdad?

Here's how everybody gains.

Ø       The moonbats (see: Cindy Sheehan) decry the long wait on death row, "suffered" by the murderers and inflicted on them as a result of the moonbat's own activities in court as they stifle the system of justice in America. 

Ø       Americans bemoan the cost of keeping murderers alive while they exhaust all their legal maneuvering.

Ø       Policy wonks worry about the cost of supporting Iraq.

 

America can pay Iraq to dispense speedy justice to those on whom America no longer has the courage to dispense that justice.

Yes, it is embarrassing.  Yes, it is crude.  Were it not so darned convenient and appropriate, it would be almost, well, just.

The Lost Angels Times says it costs ONE QUARTER OF A BILLION DOLLARS (yes, that was screaming) for each prisoner execution in California.[iv]  While California may be a bit excessive in treatment of its death row prisoners (they recently cut out lattes after brunch), they are useful for extreme calculation.

Were the United States to pay just half of that cost, per prisoner, for Iraq to execute our judicial system flotsam and jetsam, Iraq would pay for itself in services to our country.

According to the previously cited Justice Department press release, there were 3,315 state and federal death row inmates awaiting execution in 2004.  At a discount rate of $125 Million dollars per execution, the United States state department could hand over all 3,315 state and federal death row inmates, hand Iraq $414.375 Billion, and, to turn a phrase, Kill Two Birds With One Stone.

"This is crazy!" some might say.  "Where would we find all that money?"

Calm.  Please remain calm.  This sounds, at the outset, like a lot of money.  But if the Lost Angles Times is right (and they are never wrong), this means that the United States would save $414.375 Billion in execution and incarceration costs.

The advertisers of the Lost Angles Times know that shoppers can "save thousands" if they buy at the right time and in the right stores.  It's all funny money anyway.  (What do you call it when a group prints money they say is real but if you print the same money, they say it's counterfeit?)

The Boston Globe reports[v] that the Iraq War is costing taxpayers (assuming that the Boston Globe is talking about American taxpayers) $2 Billion per week.  At $125 Million per execution, that means that Iraq could pay its own way by executing just sixteen (16) prisoners each week.

With the precision and efficiency they showed last Saturday morning with Saddam, I think they could easily reach this modest goal.

And, to further extend the calculations, at $2 Billion per week, they could "pay as they go" for another 207 weeks.  That's almost four more years.  The Iraq war could continue, free of cost, for another four years were this modest proposal accepted.

The Iraqis, by showing how they are better at dealing with murderers than the United States, have opened the door to a whole new cottage business: garbage disposal.  Of the most toxic nature.

At the end of four years, the United States would have paid Iraq to pay for its own war, we would have saved $414 Billion (not spent it, mind you), and would have 3,315 more beds in our maximum security prisons available for later shipment to Iraq.

Perhaps Iraq is not as primitive as we originally thought.

 

---

[i] UN Criticizes Saddam Death Penalty, The Jerusalem Post, Nov 5, 2006,[http://www.jpost.com/servlet/Satellite?cid=1162378330583&pagename=JPost%2FJPArticle

[ii] Bureau of Justice Statistics, Press Release, Department of Justice, November 13, 2005, http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/bjs/pub/press/cp04pr.htm

[iii] http://www.cindysheehanwatch.com/

[iv] Cost Studies, Death Penalty Focus,http://www.deathpenalty.org/index.php?pid=cost&menu=1

[v] Cost of War Nearly $2B a Week, The Boston Globe (online), September 28, 2006, http://www.boston.com/news/world/ middleeast/articles/ 2006/09/28/ cost_of_iraq_war_nearly_2b_a_week /?page=full